Run Details

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#2468 Hillside Inn, Crawley – After 5 weeks absence (and it was touch and go on this one with Gromit and Rocks On setting for EGH3 much closer to home!), it was about time Angel and I returned. Unfamiliar faces, as well as seldom seen faces, abounded in the pub and I got chatting to Bloodsucker learning that, although new to us, he was a running friend of tonight’s hare, Little Swinger, and was named on an EGH3 trail as his given name is Christopher Lee. Moving on, Canny Valley turned out to be a complete hash virgin who’d spotted the silly names on the sign in sheet and made one up. UnCanny Dave went on to confirm that he’d been given a hash briefing by ‘the old man’, On On Don offering fatherly advice despite no family connection. Moving outside, LS could barely get a word out through the banter, at first heightist, but a few ‘haven’t brought the torch’ when she advised using the lights at a dodgy road crossing (everyone’s a Tim Vine!) And so to the r*n, with Freshly Spewed freshly named Lefty (because he’s always right) leading the way on his scooter, the charge was on for a lovely start through Worth Park Gardens, then Gratton’s Park Nature Reserve and on to Three Bridges via several fishhooks which Lefty largely ignored until now. Seeing him suddenly come flying back, my unrewarded hopes were that he’d gone to locate Dad Testiculator (who, living very nearby,  had adopted a relaxed approach to trail, occasionally giving the FH’rs concern) and grab the house keys for a pop-up sip stop. Meanwhile Nasty Nips, having sorted out an errant shoe, sock or foot, exploded past with FOMO, joining the return as 5 on a 4, only to miss a 2nd FH a short distance further on. An absurd bit of over-checking by YT had the pack calling a hold until I found my way back for which I thank you all, but I was soon off-trail again after a dodgy arrow led us into a cul-de-sac, needing hare to show the way out via another wasted sip stop opportunity past her own home. It was at her local little swing that I incurred the wrath of Lefty by fulfilling the oft stated desire from many of the pack to borrow his wheels, prompting him to yell at NN that “Bouncer needs a DD!” On Inn was back along the Worth Way, up through the trees by Worth Road and past, and I assure you this is not an Oxymoron, posh Crawley. Hare had one final surprise with a FH within sniffing distance of the beer, apparently jestily suggested by NN, but Angel and Rebel were still out on trail so no-one completed it correctly.

In the pub, it didn’t take us long to finish the TEA, leaving zero ales available from the 5 handpulls, so down downs were administered with zero of the Guinness variety. First of which, of course, went to Little Swinger for a Big Trail to a hasty reworking of Tom Robinson’s 2-4-6-8 Motorway in recognition of the run number (marginally improved at leisure):
     "2-4-6-8: Crawley’s up for a fight, Stuck with the pack a-hashing through the night,
     3-5-7-9: Little arrows on the ground, Swinger's town trail earns her a zero down down…"
Next up was Rebel, who was a hardened schoolboy round here, before beer and Lewes relaxed him, but he’d also suggested the zero so had to drink it! It all seemed to segue nicely at the time, but I can’t remember how Hash Gomi got hauled up next for setting a bad example, crossing on a red right in front of young Lefty, which in turn led to Testi taking one for the boy (as well as numerous SCB’s), the latter having been dragged home by G3. This foursome was completed by NN for various FH transgressions and, although this got overlooked at the time, for filling the car park with Lynx Africa, all downing to Stupid. Neither of the new boots had stuck around for the circle, but both are anticipated back, so it just left the weekly KIU and WB dragged out farewell downers, and a presentation of a massive pair of shoes on a massive breadboard from NN, which was a nice thought but won’t sit well with their minimal packing before their departure to Aus (which also has a strict biosecurity policy with regard to wood products, let alone hash trainers painted or otherwise!). Watch out for a new hash award coming soon! Announcements about their leaving get together, next week’s hash and Testi’s upcoming Crawley SL’ash hash unfortunately overlooked wishing the relay team the best of luck, before wrapping up another great hash. A quick footnote to the evening is that Anybody, who had gone to EGH3 in Henfield, but disappeared prompting worried calls from Rocks On, did eventually return, his phone having died en route! - Bouncer