Run Details

New start time of 19:00.

#2389 The White Horse, Ditchling - Hello readers, Nasty Nips here again with another rehash. And what a shiggy-filled hash it was! It was also to be 1E's last regular hash with BH7 as he moves to Canada this Thursday, and a surprise stop at another memorial stile but no sip (BOO!) as Lily The Pink was 'a little disorganised' (his words). Marks were to be in tissue or, of course, the obligatory pink flour.

With the masses gathered (the run list had 31 including barfly's and walkers, but it really felt like more) LTP called On On E out of the pub along the B2116 / Lewes Rd and straight onto a check at the roundabout; trail would find the hah continuing E before turning N up The Twitten to E End Ln. Another check here found myself and Little Swinger checking N along The Dymocks and (looking at the route map as I write this) the hare called On Back just in time as we would have ended up SCBing - true trail was actually E on E End Ln, then N up Bragwyn's Acre, left after the woods and back around to the corner of The Dymocks / E Gardens, turning N and out into the fields. At this point, most runners were probably still clean(ish), but that was soon to change...

Continuing in a generally N direction and following the footpath, the first FH would be encountered (missing it, I did a little loop to mark it on the map - this gathered a few odd looks until I explained!) with a second one just behind Beardsfield Nursery; this one gathered a number of muttered expletives as the back of the pack was some way behind and down a narrow track. Trail continued N to the railway footbridge where the pack would cross and find three options, each with a single mark... But the hares had been sneaky (NuSSSknacker even apologised!), and trail was actually a sharp left at the bridge, NOT over it - definitely no SCBing from any FRBs here to get back...

Trail then cut a diagonal SW through the field to the B2112 / Common Ln and then W along the footpath with another FH at Wellhouse Ln before turning S on Ockley Ln and E (turning SE then S) at the corner. Check just before the end of the lane revealed the trail turning E up the steps just before Oldlands Ln / Oldlands Windmill, and a regroup at the end of the field. And so, with most of the pack gathered and headtorches off (many enjoying the beautiful night sky and discussions about constellations and Uranus), LTP explained that NSSS had arranged for the Monday Group to place a plaque on the stile for You Stupid Bastard (Bentley) - sadly NSSS was not at the RG as she had offered to accompany Knightrider back to the pub as he had hurt his ankle during the course of the run. With photos being taken of the stile, Merlin took the perfect opportunity to jump up from the other side, almost as if on cue - definitely something the hasher found cute and funny.

And so, keeping it short to stop everyone getting cold, LTP called the pack over the stile with trail down to Orchard Ln. But a cross at the stile here meant a slightly longer run back than some had expected, turning instead W before turning S on Lodge Hill Ln just after the houses with an On Inn and a long straight run back that would recent newcomer Lydia joining the FRBs back to the pub.

Visiting hashers Cocaine and Cock Doctor (that's probably going to mess with corporate email filters more than 1E's full name does! 😀 ) had already shot off, and so with an array of charges given to me (hashers are SO quick to dob each other in!), and with everyone beered and fed (and with me a lot more disorganised than usual), hash hush was called and the group asked what they thought of tonight's hash - of course, 'muddy' was by far the generally consensus. And so LTP and NSSS were called up and DDs to "Here's to the Hares". Next up, 1E for milking the whole going away thing and NSSS again because she thinks Bouncer always picks on her - oh boo hoo, you get a free beer 😉 - and disagreement over her name's spelling (helpfully demonstrated with some 'Nussschnitten', intended to get across the 'noosh' part of the name and deliberate triple-S spelling and homage to her original moniker 'SSS'); and who provided these? Why, none other than Bouncer. DDs for 1E and NSSS to "20 Toes". And then, again NSSS (yes, she was being picked on tonight!), this time for dobbing in Bouncer for wearing no shoes after the hash (to which I had pointed out how muddy it was it was good he had taken them off); joining her would be Bouncer, for not wearing any shoes. DDs again to "20 Toes".

Next up? Simon, who it turns out has over 450 BH7 hashes to his name and yet... no name. That changed after the Dyke Tavern hash where he had turned up early and found the pub to be closed on Mondays and so proceeded to head home - they were opening up especially for the hash and he had beaten the barman to the pub! And so, it had been decreed that he should henceforth be known as Beat the Barman. But tonight would be a double (in more way's than one...) as Knocky was also finally being named as Nincompooch, with Mat taking the DD on his behalf. And so, on knees in front of me and with sword in hand, I named them both by the powers invested in me by barley and hops, asking them to stand. DDs to, of course, "Get A Life". But what happened? They started downing during the first verse and not during the second 'Down Down' verse!!! Clearly Beat The Barman doesn't get enough DDs. And so, a retake was had, this time (thankfully) they both got it right.

And so the announcements would come out: Christmas Hash on the 23rd December - get your names down; next hash? Nope forgot that one... Numpty? Ooops - left it in the car... Any other business? Nope, forgot that too... Oh wait, the evening wasn't over... A different order had been played out before calling up two special people: LS for her 100th hash this very evening and 1E (again) for his farewell hash; but with a few extra beers bought thanks to BQ and St Bernard, we now had extras... And so 1E as a last nomination call up Gomi for riding St Bernard all evening and St Bernard for a spectacular two-footed stomp in one of the many deep puddles encountered this evening. I had planned DDs to the tune of "The Grand Ol' Duke" but it seemed the hash really wanted "Stupid".

Finally, finished for real this time, St Bernard announced the Brighton pub carols which could be found on Facebook and would be held this year on 3rd, 10th and 17th December. And so the hash was closed with a toast to 'The Hash' with all responding in kind. Except for Local Knowledge, responding instead with 'And All Those Who Sail In Her', closing out another great hash.

Oh, and for those of you wondering, what other charges were levied? Amongst them were Mat (for discussing 'dangly bits' with me during the hash, referring of course to the brambles), Hot Fuzz (for talk about 'sausages' and 'buns'), PD and Lydia (for running along the road after Ditchling Common as LTP had said there was a '200m stretch without any verge or path', and PD had incorrectly assumed this to be that part of the road - it wasn't, and led to them and Bouncer effectively creating their own FH and ending up well at the back of the pack), and even me (for falling over and getting completely covered in mud - thankfully I was RAing); there were more but I just couldn't record them all. Plus 'post-hash' information - it turned out Gomi had forgotten his trail shoes and so had had to run possibly the boggiest hash of the year in his casual trainers! If I'd known this I would've had someone get the numpty mug... And for those of you lost without knowing the details of next week's hash, it will be hared by Rebel WHK & Jaws from The John Harvery Tavern, Lewes. Although I hope you're reading that last bit on an email from KIU that tells you exactly that... - Nasty Nips