Run Details

Bouncer's retirement from the drudge of work!

#2442 The Railway, Burgess Hill – Late news that Nasty Nips was suffering a double half marathon weekend, a dodgy back, and a disinclination to accept the blame for the weather as RA, meant that I would have to MC as hare, as indeed he did at the Jack & Jill recently. That of course means scribing as well and, according to the records, the last time we ran from here was December 1991 with a route by Psychlepath when he was just Rik! With some great deals on the grub, a free car park using the tablet, and even very competitive beer prices, a return was long overdue. Piggybacking Beat the Barman’s hash as r*nning hare for my retirement (I had originally intended this date but felt it was too close to our Hallowe’en trail!), pack mustered in the rain to the news that there would be a sip, there would be a drink on YT, but, after the days weather, there (probably) wouldn’t be marks! Heading up Keymer Road the check at the roundabout was ancient history, so I settled in to the role as shepherd calling the sheep as soon as the last caught up. On down Silverdale, the check at Glendale was still there but I had to check tech on Ferndale, calling pack back at Holt Park as one of the few marks left was a falsie! The first railway crossing followed as we continued along One O’clock Lane, then over Kings Way to the junction in the woods, where Little Swinger declined the 8-foot leap up to the rope. So far so good, with hashers sporadically heading off the wrong way, while Peter Pansy invented fishhooks at every opportunity, but now it got seriously squishy underfoot as we traversed the fields to Janes Lane. I tried calling a FH at Ote Hall but the message didn’t get through, which was a shame as I got held up at the style by mysterious torches behind that eventually fizzled. Lots more shiggy followed as we negotiated narrow plank bridges and hedge gaps through to Theobalds Road, Balinor particularly coming unstuck, and on to Valebridge. FRB’s beat the train at the crossing, but fortunately all went wrong at the next check, then we meandered through Leylands Wood to the sip at Coopers Close, right outside, as Keeps It Up informed us, Where’s My Broccoli’s house! Pack filled with sausage rolls, crisps and Christmas dog sh!t as Mudlark described the cake’s look, washed down with leftover Nash Hash Spanish lager, I then suffered severe brain fade, and indeed rain fade when trying to work out trail from tech again. Calling pack back from W, S turned out to be a cul-de-sac, as was E, so SW was attempted but I wasn’t convinced and finally realised there was a way through on E, but only if you then went S shortly after! In the confusion, we lost Wilds Thing (who’d been sporting a natty light grey shell suit on the muddiest hash in a long time!) to a work call, being assisted in his return via Lidl by Private Dancer, while the rest of us ran through the Railway Lands, along St Wilfrid’s and Mill Roads, some even finding true in trail via Grove Road, with PP all the while carrying the sip sack as handicap!

Whilst out, Angel had hinted that Mudlark might like to RA this evening, getting unceremoniously barged off the pavement in response, so took the hint and called hares herself, although Trouble attempted the driving card before being reminded that she lived in Burgess Hill! As I stepped up to take over, a chant of ‘Angel, Angel…’ went round the room! Back when I first arrived with BH7, I would frequently share lifts with Simon, as Beat the Barman was formerly known, as well as setting trails. One of those reminded me much of this evening’s effort as we’d had it washed out three times before he took drastic action, tearing up a bedsheet to mark it with! Life’s tapestry meant a long break for BTB but it was a very great pleasure that he was able to return and join us again in 2023, becoming regular from August 2024, and finally completing his 500th a couple of weeks ago. I took the liberty of joining him as he downed from his new tankard to ‘Get A Life’, having completed my own 500th, at parkrun, the previous weekend albeit in just 14 years, rather than 40! Putting Brighton Hash firmly on the map, KIU and Wildbush achieved their 100th hashed country at Pan Asia Hash in Taiwan, becoming just the 5th and 6th hounds in the world to reach that incredible milestone. Only one song seemed apt, so they, too, downed to ‘Get A Life’. As you will already have seen, Spreadsheet will be turning 80 next week, and has chosen to mark the occasion by buying us all a curry (see sign up board), but has requested that we forego the circle for logistical and diplomatic reasons, so I thought it would be appropriate to give him his beer this week, hoping to use a  rarely used number - ‘Get A Life’! Sadly declined as he was on his driving limit, so Wilds Thing was called but on call couldn’t answer the call for SCB’ing as he had a call whilst on call on the hash, so PD came instead looking very confused as you can imagine. And finally, On On Don took over presentation of the Numpty mug, just when I thought I’d got away with it, awarding YT for the post sip old timer’s moment! Another great hash concluded with the toast, and off we went to listen to Oral Hookers message to all women to ‘rein in men’. Alleluia! - Bouncer